Every little helps

Dear Toscos,

We are very sorry to inform you that your bid to supply Sussex as a supermarket retailer has been unsuccessful.

Whilst we appreciate that you have been a reputable long-established company since the 1920s and that during that time you have prided yourself on both quality and value to your very loyal customer base, with effect from September 2014, you will no longer be able to trade as a supermarket retailer in Sussex.

Whilst we cannot question the quality of your goods or indeed your commitment to providing an ongoing and much valued service, unfortunately your bid was just too high. From now on, the Sussex market will be divided equally between two supermarket suppliers; Lo Cost and Quantity not Quality. Customers will be allocated between the suppliers based upon the colour of the socks that they happen to be wearing on the day they require their purchases. Customers will not be allowed to choose their supermarket provider regardless of any concerns they may have over quality or geographical location. Should they require any future supermarket services, again the choice of supplier will be made for them on the basis of the colour of their socks.

Whilst we do understand the massive impact of this upon you, your employees and most importantly your customers; frankly we do not much care as we need to save some money and as we’re sure you’ll understand, every little helps.

Yours (un)faithfully

The Government

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